Letting go

Creating the conditions for Service with a HUG to happen naturally

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Letting go. It feels good to let go, doesn’t it?

You might say that it really depends…

There are as many ways to be a leader as there are people in leadership roles.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that some ways of being a leader are much more effective than others.

One way to ‘lead’ is to control. Or at least try to control. Try to control what is happening in an area of responsibility. Try to control the people in the team. You’ve possibly heard it referred to as micro-managing.

If you’ve ever worked in an environment where this is the situation, how does it feel?

Does it feel satisfying?
Do you feel like you have the space to express yourself and use your creativity?
Does it limit what you offer your employer, your boss and the people around you?
Does it suggest that your boss doesn’t fully trust you?

So why would a leader choose to be like this?

Well, firstly, it may not feel like a conscious choice on their part. It could be more of a ‘default setting’. It could be just the way they see the world and how they habitually operate.

What could be driving this behaviour? Most likely, some kind of insecurity. Fear of letting go. Fear of being accountable for the actions of people in their team. Perhaps even ultimately fear of losing their job or their business.

From that perspective, the stakes could seem very high.

So it’s totally understandable that we, as leaders, sometimes believe that it’s our job to be in control.

Another way.

How about letting go? Letting go of the need to be in control.

Let’s be clear, this is not abdicating. It’s not stepping back and inviting anarchy to break out. Far from it. It’s actually the total opposite. It’s involving people more and adding to their sense shared responsibility for what happens.

It requires people to think for themselves more.

It’s not letting go of responsibility. The leader remains accountable for what happens in their department or business. So communication is key. But not checking up on people.

Checking in with people.

That conversation becomes a very different experience when the leader is seeking to support and challenge team members to bring more of themselves to their role. The ongoing conversation can include:

What else can they bring?
What would make their job more interesting?
What ideas do they have for improving the business?
What additional responsibilities would they be open to taking on?

And this will be an adjustment for some people.

They may wonder what is going on. Not every team member wants to bring more to their role. Some employees may decide it’s not for them. That’s their choice. If their heart isn’t in it, maybe it’s best if they work somewhere where they can care more.

At the end of the day, is it really possible to control others and what happens in the world?

I don’t believe it is. Although it doesn’t stop us trying at times.

But I’m finally realising (as a partly-reformed controller) that not only is it completely pointless trying to control, it really doesn’t bring out the best in others.

And being that invitation is surely our main role as a leader, isn’t it?

That’s it for now.

Andy

PS Radical idea – where else in your life could you apply the idea of letting go?

PPS A fantastic tool for leading this way is making agreements. See this article for more on how to create high-quality agreements with others.

Visit the blog for previous articles:

1. Introduction

2. What you focus on grows

3. The power of appreciation

4. What do you expect?

5. Agreements

6. It’s a journey