Creating the conditions for Service with a HUG to happen naturally
Reading time: 6 minutes
You’ve probably heard the story of the motor racing driver who kept telling himself, “Don’t hit the wall, don’t hit the wall…" You know how that turned out.
And yet, even though we mostly know how powerful a lesson this is, we can still have a tendency to focus upon what is going wrong or needs fixing. What we focus on grows!
Sales stories
In my time as a coach, I’ve experienced the many stories that salespeople tell, including those to themselves. They’ve got favourites like “Nobody’s buying" and “Everyone’s buying" alternating on repeat. The reality is usually somewhere in between.
Ever noticed how this plays out?
Picture a customer walking into a showroom being greeted by a salesperson who either believes they won’t buy or is convinced they’re ready to swipe that credit card. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy! And hey presto, their story becomes their truth.
What they focus on determines the outcome.
This explains why, when asking salespeople, “When are you most likely to make a sale?" often they’ll say, “Right after I’ve made one!”.
It’s a mindset thing.
Your impact as a manager
What about your mindset?
Maybe you believe that, to get what you want, you need to eradicate what you don’t want.
How much time do you spend firefighting?
Be honest. Yet, it can feel like the more problems you tackle, the more problems you spot. It’s as if you’re wearing glasses that only highlight red flags.
Are you open to the possibility that other kinds of glasses are available?
That’s what this article is about… shining a light on the moment-by-moment awareness of what you’re focusing on.
For example, let’s say something hasn’t gone to plan. It happens to most of us, most days. We might say, “That’s not what we wanted to happen”. And yet, it did.
With more awareness of the principle of What you focus on grows comes greater choice. We can choose how we see a situation.
When we focus on the problem, it can take on an elevated level of importance to us. We can become quite tangled up in it. If we get frustrated or angry at other people (or ourselves) for messing up, we are not seeing the many other possible responses in that moment.
Our ’story’ about the situation has taken over and is now running the show.
And this is what happens for so many of us. I use the word ‘for’ intentionally here. It is happening for us. It’s inviting us to learn and grow beyond what has occurred.
It’s like going to the gym—sometimes it’s painful, but gains await on the other side.
Are you open to seeing ‘problems’ (let’s call them ‘challenges’ from now on) as something positive?
Receiving the treasure
When there’s a challenging situation, focus on receiving the treasure. For me, the treasure might include a valuable life lesson or an opportunity to strengthen a relationship. In other words, I’m not focusing on the wall.
Slow down and ask questions, such as:
- What is this situation showing us?
- What can we learn?
- How can we use this situation as a stepping stone to something better?
- Is this an opportunity to examine our communication, our processes or something else?
- Is a more effective way revealing itself?
- Is this is a perfect moment to coach and develop someone in the team?
- What’s my role in this co-creation? What can I learn and do differently?
Focus on the people in the team and they will grow
Some would say, “Take care of the people and the financial results will take care of themselves”.
Did you click on the link in the previous article to the interview with James Timpson? If so, this approach will be familiar to you.
Also in the previous article you were invited to notice the ways in which you are already taking care of the people in your team.
- Did you do it? If so, what did you notice?
- And by focusing more attention in that direction, did you naturally feel more appreciation for yourself and the people in the team?
- Did you notice that, by looking in that direction, things felt a bit different for you?
- And did you notice any difference in response from any team members?
It doesn’t matter if you answered no to all these questions. Things have been as they are for quite a while and those habitual patterns run deep. Yet gradually (and sometimes quite quickly), change can occur.
Are you willing to keep moving in this direction?
In summary
There is a way that creates more of what you want.
It’s about how fully present you are. Moment by moment, who are you being? What energy are you bringing? And, crucially, what are you focusing upon?
For now, just notice what you’re noticing. By doing that, you’ll be raising your awareness of how the mind is programmed.
Most of us have blind spots. What we think we are focusing on might not always be what we’re actually focusing on. We might, without realising it, be focusing on the lack of it. Is there somebody in your world who you trust enough to ask the following question?
“What are the five things you hear me talking about the most?”
Breaking news
You are free to choose what you focus on. It’s one of the keys to getting more of what you want.
In the next article we’ll be looking at some practical ways to show appreciation to ourselves and others. Who wouldn’t like more of that?
That’s it for now… until the next article, all the best!
Andy